


Health Quest

by Valaena_the_Historyteller1



Series: Quests [6]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25951891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valaena_the_Historyteller1/pseuds/Valaena_the_Historyteller1
Summary: After the COVID Quest. Elrond, the un official therapist of the House of Finwë decides to go to university in the mortal lands and get his diploma in psychology to try and prevent his family from murdering each other. And after a few classes, he seems to have diagnosed them. So when he is called to a professor´s office, the theme sparkled. What was said inside that office?
Relationships: Celebrimbor | Telperinquar & Curufin | Curufinwë, Celebrían/Elrond Peredhel, Elrond Peredhel & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Fëanor | Curufinwë & Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: Quests [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815184
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Health Quest

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that came up to my mind during the weekend, hope you like it.

“That´s all for now, see you next week. Don´t forget your essays” doctor Roger Palmer said after finishing the psychoanalysis classes of the week. His students started to pack of their books and other things before slowly exiting the room. Slowly like zombies. Well, he couldn´t expect more, after the essay they have to turn in last class. “Elrond, do you have time before your next class? we need to talk.”

“Ehhhhh, of course, professor” the peredhel said, not knowing why his teacher tried to talk to him specifically. Maybe he found out he wasn´t entirely human? Okay, that was paranoia. His glamour was perfect; he should look exactly like the typical college student with a scholarship that worked hard to maintain it. Or something like that…  
When he asked the Valar and CELEBRIAN for a leave to pursue a higher education in psychological health, he thought he would have aced them by the end of the year. Unfortunately, he was better at medical health than mental one. Because… well… he seemed to find medicine easier. Don´t misunderstand him!! Medicine was a hard topic to learn!! But… it was more his topic than the hundredths of metal diagnosis he could land on a person. But he had to learn. Why? Because… errmmm… his family was a nuthouse. Seriously. The House of Finwë was the walking definition of a mental asylum. The Feanorians more than anyone. But that wasn´t the topic at hand.

“Am I in trouble?” asked the Lord of Imladrys, hoping that the human hasn´t realized that he was an immortal elf.

“Of course not, I just want to talk. How about if we take lunch together” the psychologist guided him towards his office, where they could have lunch without anyone interrupting them. Elrond doubted about following him first. It was Friday, the day he returned to have weekend with his wife… anyway, knowing what the edain knew about him was more important. He arrived to the office with determination in his eyes. 

“Am I in trouble?” 

“No, not at all, it´s just that… I notice that perhaps this is not your vocation” the human continued, taking off his own meal. “I have seen you in my classes and I don´t think you find them interesting enough…”

“Are my grades not convincing enough to you?”

“No, your… your grades are perfect” the man continued, trying to read him. Unfortunately, he was not used to give therapy session to elves. “I want to know your motivations to do study psychology. Many of your classmates have addressed me with different topics they want to specialize in and I want to know yours. And your reasons to have that specialization.” 

“Hummmm… well…” should he be frank or just plain lie? Lying sounded like a good option, but right now a humanized version of the truth seemed like the best path. “Family therapy. Because… my family is a bit of a nutshell and I think a good session or a hundred of therapy might do wonders to them.”

“Families can be complicated” Roger continued, glad that his student could share something with him. “Some more than others. Have you tried talking to your parents about going to therapy if your family situation is so bad?”

“Which pair? The biological ones or the adoptive ones?”

“Are you serious?” the peredhel nodded. The therapist suddenly was very interesting. Unorthodox families were his specialty, after all. “Well, how about we begin with the biological ones. How is your relationship with them?”

“Considering that that my biological father abandoned me in the hands of my mentally unbalanced mother when I was two and she ditched me when I was six…”

“I get it” he rolled his eyes. With reason he had adoptive parents!! “Wait, mentally unbalanced?”

“She is a narcissist, spoiled little princess that only thinks of herself… I also would diagnose her with a bad case of drug addiction and post-partum depression when I was younger, but she seemed to have recovered from the last one.”

“Drug addiction?” Elrond shrugged. He couldn´t exactly say silmaril addiction, so he just kept quiet.

“The reason she abandoned me and my brother in a particularly dangerous situation when we were but babies”

“Sounds rough”

“Not so much, my adoptive fathers were there to take care of us” they were also the culprits of the dangerous situation, but Elrond wasn´t about to tell the edain that. “They were much better parents than the other set and my relationship to them is still better than the one with my biological parents.”

“Fathers?” asked the therapist, not knowing what to say. He knew that same sex couples were normal now, but before… “A gay couple?”

“Brothers. A couple of single, distant cousins of my father that decided to take us in” oh, that was more understandable. “They were awesome in their own way. Very understanding. And supportive.”

“Then it doesn´t sound so bad” the professor was sighing in relieve. He was beginning to think he should send his pupil and all his family to the mental hospital. “Apart from the biological family, it doesn´t sound like the kind to need a therapist exclusively for them, as you put it before.”

“Because I haven´t told you everything” Elrond sighed, putting his hands on his lap. “But they are crazy, all of them. And I´m usually the one stuck talking them to reason… or avoiding bloodshed.”

“Come on, it can´t be so bad”

“You want to bet, professor?” the peredhel raised an eyebrow. “Tell me one diagnosis and I will tell you which of my family members fits better with it.” His teacher gave him an incredulous look. “Just do it, please”

“If you say so” Roger searched his mind for a mental diagnosis that he didn´t think the youth would fit one of his family members. It can´t be narcissism, as he was pretty sure the other was going to answer that his mother had it, but… “Depression?”

“One of my adoptive fathers, Maedhros” answered the other without a doubt. “He was pretty depressed some years ago, he even attempted suicide once” Maitimo committed suicide by jumping into lava, that was known for Elrond, but he wasn´t about to tell his edain teacher anything else. “He is much better now, but we still keep knives and whatever he can use to try again under six locks”

-Flashback-

“Finno, what are you doing?”

“Nothing!!” Fingon guiltily jumped, slamming the cupboard he has been opening shut. Maitimo raised an eyebrow, seeing how his husband was blindly fishing for a key on his back. It was their first day living together after their wedding and it was already being weird. “I was just searching for a knife to cut the vegetables and…”

“Give it to me then, we can finish faster if we work together” the redhead said, extending his hand to grab the thing.

“What? No, no!! I want to do this for you!!” the raven answered, locking the cupboard with all the cutlery before turning to his spouse with a nervous smile on his face. “It´s our first breakfast as a wedded couple and I want to make it special… a lot…”

“And… is there any reason why I couldn´t help?” the older elf continued, not really believing him. 

“No, no, but I have already said, I want to spoil you. Go back to bed, I will join you soon, yes?” Maedhros exited the room, not wanting to start an argument on their honeymoon, but he was starting to believe his dear Findékano has had a chat with his mother about what she read in internet about people who attempted suicide. And the last thing he needed was his love acting as paranoid as Nerdanel did when he lived with her and his father. He was not depressed anymore, didn´t they see? “Nelyo! Do you want cilantro in your food?”

Cilantro. He hadn´t had cilantro since Amon Ered, because… because the twins hated cilantro. Specially Elros. Suddenly he didn´t felt like doing anything anymore, just cry for his lost son and…

“Hey, easy there, we don´t need cilantro” Finno rubbed his back with love, trying to soothe him. This moods weren´t going to ruin his honeymoon with the love of his live, not now that he finally managed to marry him.

Unknown to the couple, Ereinion and Elrond were watching from distance, careful not to see anything inadequate for the sons of the honeymooners. The first was worried for his father´s life, the second… wondered if he should start working in prescriptions for antidepressants. Seeing Maitimo now, he was going to need them. 

-End of the Flashback-

“And you still think he was a great parent?”

“He was going through a lot and I was an adult by the time he tried to end with it” Elrond shook his head. “On his defence, he has mostly gone over it by now, has recently married the love of his life and, even if he has bad days sometimes, they are sparse.”

“But you still keep the knifes and pills under locks, no?” Roger said, wondering just how worse this could get, if his family was like he described. “Psychosis?”

“I´m not sure it entirely counts, but after the suicide attempt my other adoptive father had a psychotic breakdown that may or may not have included hallucinations” Elrond rubbed his hands. “He refuses to talk about it.”

“PTSD?”

“My cousin had a very abusive relationship some time ago. He still has nightmares and other symptoms from post-traumatic stress from the torture that man put him through” the peredhel continued. He didn´t know if what was between Tyelpe and Sauron was really a romantic relationship or just plain friendship, but the fact remained that the smith was still suffering the effects of his exposure to the Lord of Mordor.

-Flashback-

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” the screams woke up Elrond, who along with his wife was bunking up at Celebrimbor´s house in Tirion to keep an eye on the Feanorians. Well, an eye on them if by the end of the week they weren´t so sleep deprived that they fell asleep on their feet.

“We should buy our own house in this town” Celebrian said, yawning while the screaming continued in the principal room. The healer went up, mentally listing the herbs that would help to sleep in his head before going to his cousin´s room. He was surprised to see that someone has beaten him to it.

“Tyelpe, dear, you have nothing to fear” Curufin murmured to his terrified son, coddling him as if he was still an elfling. And surprisingly enough, Tyelpe was letting him do it. It seemed that his atar´s presence reassured him that everything was fine. “Shhhh, I´m here, atto is with you. That monster will never put a hand on you again…”

“Telperinquar is fine” Elrond informed his wife once he got in bed again. “Curufin seems to have everything under control.”

“Really? Because I would hate to wake up to screams again”

“Ummmm” now that he thought about it. “Tomorrow I will start looking for a house in the town near enough so we can keep an eye on all the kinslaying family we have to make sure they don´t get themselves killed.”  
“As long as it has a nice garden…”  
-End of the Flashback-

“Okay… maybe your family is a little bit crazy, but I can´t see anyone having histrionic disorder…”

“My grandfather through my mother´s side is prone to histrionics. And my great great grandfather through that side was also famous for that… and his narcissism” Elrond said, shuddering when he thought about the reactions both Dior and Thingol would have if they knew Elrond described them as a histrionic or a narcissist… they were probably not as bad as Elwing´s would be. “My grandafather´s half-brother maybe too…”

“Machiavellism?” Rogers asked hopefully. That family was really starting to sound like a nuthouse. And maybe, just maybe, what they needed was not a therapist, but an entire mental hospital for themselves.

“My adoptive grandfather, and that´s just the beginning of his problems. He also have some rage issues he should work on.”

-Flashback-

Elrond was running at top speed to Fingolfin´s house when he heard that Fëanor has stormed off in that direction with his sword barred for all the world to see. He needed to be there to stop the elven prince from getting himself exiled again. The peredhel stopped himself for a second to catch his breath before opening the door and finding a very known image. There, Fëanor was threatening Fingolfin with a sword.

“Hey, stop!!” the Lord of Imladrys screamed, putting a hand on the sword to try and make the prince drop the issue. “You know what happened the last time you threatened with a sword, why are you trying to get yourself exi…”

“Threatening him?! I´m not threatening him!! I´m trying to run through the person who is behind him!!!” Fëanor screamed. Only then Elrond realised that there was someone behind Nolofinwë. Findékanno peeked from over his father´s shoulder at his great nephew, who just raised an eyebrow at him. And now that he noticed, those three were not the only ones in the room. Maedhros was there too, looking mortified and very uncomfortable.

“Okay… what in Mandos happened here?” demanded the youngest elf in the room. “And please, the complete version, so I have all the details.” The oldest one mumbled something that sounded surprisingly like my little boy.   
“Excuse me?”

“My baby boy… he bedded my baby boy” Elrond had to refrain himself from making a disgusted sound. There were things about his parents, both pairs, he never wanted to know, and their sexual lives were one of them. But he was getting out of track. Fëanor was overreacting, obviously, but he had a point in wanting to kill or castrate Fingon. After all, elves weren´t supposed to go all the way until after the wedding. BUT, again, Fingon was not the only culprit there. 

“Couldn´t you have waited until the wedding?” he asked, his eyes landing on a guilty looking Maitimo. “I mean, you were already engaged, you just have to resist the urge for a few more months…”

“It wasn´t like that” the redhead tried to defend himself and his fiancé, while his father still growled like a particularly angry rhinoceros. “We had too much to drink after Finarfin´s costume party. The last thing I remember is that we were kissing” more growls. “And the next thing I knew was that I woke up in Finno´s bed completely naked. I tried to hide what happened, but then Celegorm had to notice I was limping and started to yell it for all of Aman to hear, demanding details…”

“I see” he didn´t need any details, he had enough childhood trauma as it was, thank you very much. “But that don´t change the fact that you should have waited to drop your costume and piss your super dangerous father with anger issues.”

“I don´t have anger issues!!!!” the smith yelled, to which they answered by giving him an incredulous look. “And that doesn´t have anything to do with the issue here. What he did to my poor baby…”

“I was more than eager if that helps”

“You were drunk!! And he took advantage of your inebriated state!!”

“Of course not!!” Fingolfin joined the fight, angered by this final statement and ready to pounce on his half-brother in the name of his son. “If someone took advantage of someone, it was Maitimo!! He is the criminal here!! He must have seduced Finno to make him take aside his honour!!”

The two started to fight about who seduced who and who started this mess, making Elrond want to rip his ears off. Seriously, he didn´t want to hear anything remotely related to his foster father´s love life. But still, the peredhel was the only relatively sane person in the room, so he had to break the fight before it escalated enough to get someone killed or exiled to a remote island.

“Hey, hey, stop it!! It´s obvious that both of them were inebriated, enamoured and equally guilty that this happened, so they both should suffer the consequences of their actions. So, both lovebirds” he glared at Fingon and Maedhros “are going to promise that they are not going to repeat this until they are lawfully wed. You both are going to calm down and forget this ever happened” and him, because he wanted to erase some mental images this conversation provoked. “I mean it. Now shake hands and goodbye.”

-End of the Flashback-

“Apparently you were right, Elrond, your family needs mental attention urgently” the therapist concluded after trying in vain to find diagnoses that didn´t fit one of the peredhel´s family members for one or other reason. “But you must know by now that you can´t be the one to give it to them, no matter how much you want” they stayed in silence for a moment. “You think you can get them to agree to having a few sessions?”

“I don´t believe so, they are very private with their affairs” Elrond got up. He should be going back sooner than later. After all, he promised Celebrian to go blackberrying with her as soon as he returned to Tol Eressea. And his chances weren´t many if he angered her. “I have to go now, professor, but I enjoyed this chat. Maybe we should repeat it.”

“Of course” with all the material this young man had, he could write a lot of papers. It would be interesting to meet such a family… but terrifying at the same time. “Perhaps I can also schedule appointments for your family members with some colleges?”

“I don´t know…”

“Some of them can give you prescriptions”

“I will try” Elrond said, hoping that the medication would make life among the House of Finwë a little bit better. Or at least Tyelpe would stop screaming in the middle of the night. One could hope, right?

**Author's Note:**

> And what do you think? Surely you can see Maedhros was a depressed when he commited suicide by jumping into a pool of lava and Maglor might have been psychotic when he was wandering the beaches, at least at first. And, well... Thingol and Fingolfin can be a little exagerated too. Tyelpe is a sure candidate for PTSD... but even like that, we love them all!! Hope you liked it and Review!!!


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